“Nonsense! It’s just aggressive knitting!” She patted his bicep. “Now, go put on these linen pants.”
“You’re resisting your inner peace, Jayden!” Pam chirped, while Bill, trying to film on an iPad, accidentally zoomed in on a squirrel. jayden jaymes, bill bailey my dad's hot girlfriend
The doorbell chimed not a doorbell chime, but the opening synth riff of “Let’s Get Physical.” Pam swept in, a whirlwind of turquoise leggings, dangling earrings shaped like pineapples, and a clipboard covered in glitter stickers. “Nonsense
The yoga segment was a disaster of epic proportions. Pam had set up mats on the back lawn, next to her new “tranquility fountain”—a concrete cherub peeing into a birdbath. Jayden, in the too-tight linen pants, tried to do “Downward Dog.” His massive frame created a crater in the yoga mat. When Pam instructed “Happy Baby,” Jayden looked less like a happy baby and more like an earthquake toppling a city. The doorbell chimed not a doorbell chime, but
“Jayden! The muscle! Perfect!” she shrieked, air-kissing both his cheeks. “We’re doing a test run for my new lifestyle brand, ‘Pam-ify Your Life!’ Bill, honey, did you get the kale?”
The Unlikely League of Extraordinary Gentlemen